Today I was looking through blogs and thought to myself "maybe I will start a blog", then I remembered...oh yeah. I did start one....SIX YEARS AGO! Yep, I started this blog 6 years ago and this is my first post. I would say that was a bit of a false start, wouldn't you?
I have always kept a journal, but since it is not in blog form I do not have to sensor it was I night a blog. However, when I think of all that has happened over the last 6 years I really wish this had not been such a false start.
In 6 years I have lost my Dad, who was the most amazing person I have ever known. I would have liked to shared and recorded the memories as well as the heart break of loss. Not to mention the disappointing and painful ugliness of my Step mothers adult children after my Dads passing.
I lost my father in law who lived with us and suffered with Alzheimer's. When I was caring for him I searched online to try and find others who might be gong through what we were. Who did not want to place there loved one in a care facility but who had reached the point of not being able to even leave home with out fear that the loved one would hurt them self or walk out of the house naked carrying a box of band-aides and a container of change. (true story). And...the heart ache of loss but also guilt over memories of irritation you had with them for peeing on the couch, of remembering them looking out the window looking for a spouse that had died decades ago.
During those 6 years my best friend went through a fight for his life when his liver and kidneys shut down. . And when his body and the medications put him in the hospital a second time with horrific hallucinations. I sat in his room as his doctors told him he had no hope, I was told to be prepared and just accept the fact that he was going to die with in days. During those times it was heart breaking but I found through prayer a strength and resolve that I did not know I had. When people in his own family complained about how hard this was for them and how they "just could not cope" with caring for him, God gave allowed me the gift of being able to be there for him. My kids lovingly helped with his care while he was in our home and prayed for him as well. Faith not doubt, words of hope and not selfishness was our driving force. And, over the course of the last two and a half years I have seen those prayers answered as he has continually gained strength and shown physical improvements. Over two years ago God proved that He is the ultimate doctor!
I missed blogging about joyous occasions like the graduations of 3 of my 4 kids, reunions and much more.
No comments:
Post a Comment